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2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal Playing Cards2024-05-05T08:14:35-07:00

Four indictments and 91 charges ago, our nation’s leaders failed to hold President Trump accountable for his attempt to blackmail Ukraine by holding back pre-approved military defense in exchange for manufactured political dirt on Joe Biden. Despite ample evidence provided by the House committee detailing this quid-pro-quo scheme, 52 fully-grown U.S. senators decided to close ranks and protect their party leader. With the first of his trials having finally begun, is there a finer living room accoutrement to complement bowls of popcorn than a fine deck of 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards?

We think not.

Tired of this wannabe strongman in bronzer since he rode down his golden escalator? That’s good, because the focus here is on the nincompoops who coddled his authoritarian wishes for sake of their own party’s interests. Whatever integrity these folks may have held at one time – like their supposed initial drive to work for the public good – got sold out to support a man who now farts away (quite terribly) in court.

Unlike the cards of Iraqi military and Ba’ath party officials produced by the George W. Bush administration and dispersed throughout the military on the eve of the 2003 invasion of Iraq in our fight against Al-Qaeda, these cards are made with high-quality, black-core support, which allows extended shuffling and long-term play. And these cards wouldn’t be possible without the guts of gumption of Mitt Romney. Even a man with the wisdom to strap his pet dog to the roof of a moving vehicle while traveling on a family vacation could see through the Donald Trump charade.

Each card in the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing deck contains an original portrait meticulously drawn by our artist to accentuate the senator’s truest self; a small set of data culled from the Internet to further determine the senator’s actual worth; and words straight from the senator’s mouth to solidify these efforts.

Maybe the featured senator who exonerated President Trump also voted to impeach President Clinton 20 years prior due to the latter’s lies made during sworn testimony in a deposition that had segued into questions about whether he, the President, had received illicit hummers in the Oval Office?

Hysterical and historical, these cards make great gifts.

The 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards have a special gold back to signify the first B.R. Cards product to market (and possibly, if it exists, Trump’s pee-pee tape). Made in America with all-American know-how, these cards are destined to be collector’s items, if not a fond reminder of our times.

2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards are only available here at the B.R. Cards website. Get yours today.

B.R. Cards is a small novelty card company founded in 2020 in Austin, TX, and currently headquartered in Van Nuys, CA. Virtually banned from advertising these cards by Google during the Trump-Biden election, we are now allowed back on the system and riding the wave of Trump court cases. Staffed by the chronically underemployed, B.R. Cards hopes to create humor and clarity in a social landscape still blown to shreds by the Reagan Revolution.

Get well soon, America. We love you.

Poll: Your choice for the next product by B.R. Cards:

    Thank for you supporting the small, independent, and fine arts industries of Austin, Texas; Van Nuys, CA; and the rest of the U.S.A.!


    Who are you?2023-07-02T23:38:33-07:00

    We are Banana Republicards, LLC, a sole member entity that began in Austin, TX, and is currently headquartered in the San Fernando Valley. We do business as B.R. Cards, and are proud Americans who figured that left-wing might work as a form of self-employment. The 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards is the first B.R. Cards product for sale to the public. It was created by:

    Sole Member, who conceptualized the product and developed the company, conducted the necessary research and took care of all the legalities. A Gen-Xer, Sole Member spent his formative years watching Reagan invest the future of our country in atomic weaponry with the ability to destroy the planet thousands of times over. The flip side is America won the Cold War, which was a big thrill. Though Sole Member  chooses to remain anonymous on this site, it is part of a shtick. (It’s actually not difficult to seek him out.)

    Frank Piercing, the artist. Frank was born in the final days of the Baby Boomer generation. Frank and Sole Member met through a lady folk singer and guitar player mutual friend at a South Austin party held at a home known to its residents and neighbors as the Hippie House. (In the spirit of transparency, the lady folk singer is actually a jazz singer who specializes in Americana. And just because she’s a woman with an acoustic guitar, it does not mean she is a Joan Baez clone. B.R. Cards apologizes for the confusion.)

    And Danielle, our graphic designer. The theoretical glue who put it all together, she is a millennial. Danielle supervised Sole Member during his three month foray as cashier at a head shop in Austin. An artist in her own right, her work can be found on Instagram under the moniker Horror.hunnie.

    B.R. Cards thanks you for your interest.

    Why are you so mean?2020-12-22T02:58:10-08:00

    While Sole Member may be found traipsing on the Internet talking trash, the purpose of the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards is not to insult the politicians on the other side of the spectrum. The sole purpose of these playing cards is to expose the faulty behavior of Republican senators during the impeachment trial of President Donald J Trump so that we, as a nation, won’t repeat such ignorance again. The idea of Never Forget is so that we improve upon our failures and move forward. If our nation is governed by senators who have decided the morals as directed by the U.S. Constitution weren’t worth defending, then of course they’re going to come off as a collection of mindless and egotistical sacks of poop.

    It means we’ve got to vote these people out of office. There is nothing nice or not nice about it.

    As for the project, if a senator happens to look like a shrieking lizard, or a lost space creature, or a freshly whacked crackhead, then that’s merely Frank’s interpretation of things. The reception his radio received from the airwaves of our political landscape. Basic gut stuff, which as we learned during George W Bush administration, is as good as anything.

    Is this cheap propaganda? Some kind of gimmick? Did you politicize poker?2023-07-02T23:45:31-07:00

    The inspiration behind these cards are the playing cards developed by George W Bush and his administration of war hawks on the eve of the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq. Somebody, more than likely Donald Rumsfeld, thought that handing out 52-card playing decks of targeted Iraqi military players ranked by card value and suit would benefit our boys, and keep them safe while rampaging a sovereign nation.

    Unlike the Bush administration, B.R. Cards are created with top quality, casino-grade paperboard for our playing cards, because B.R. Cards products are crafted with care and the consumer in mind. Also unlike the Bush administration, we believe in the notion that an educated public makes for a healthy Republic. That is why every card is packed with data. The goal is expose government officials who waste our time with their self-serving bullshit.

    Transparency is the key. Data was sourced online from the websites,,, and various local news websites from around the country. Please visit the references section onat the bottom of this page for links to all our quotes.

    What factors determined card values and suits?2020-12-22T02:59:36-08:00

    In the spirit of President George W Bush, the science we went with was our gut. We began with the most obvious — Mitch McConnell as the Ace of Spades as Martha McSally as the Two of Clubs – proceeded to fill in the rest of the pieces. Was it happenstance that the crazies were 8s and all the 4s were fascists or simply the nature of the beast? We did reserve Spades for conniving back stabber types, and Diamonds for those with an exorbitant amount of money. The longer tenure generally earned a higher numerical value, as almost all the current senators who were around in some form for the Clinton impeachment were considered higher up cards. Of course, the Aces are special.

    The process could have benefited from the use of an algorithm, but in the end, each Republican senator fell into place as mindlessly as they fell into line.

    Explain Lindsey Graham as the only male Queen, if you don’t mind.2020-12-22T21:17:54-08:00

    B.R. Cards is not in the position to discuss anybody’s sexuality, and we do admit that designating one male as a Queen would appear to do just that. Sole Member did solicit the opinion of the LGBT folks in his social circle. Granted, this was a small sample size (two Gs, one L, one B, no Ts) but the decision was unanimous. L said, “Miss Lindsey as a Queen is a no-brainer,” and one of the Gs pre-empted my question with his own. “Is Lindsey a Queen?”

    While Frank had offered a stiff voice of opposition, Danielle understood. At the end of the day, this was Sole Member’s decision to make, so please leave Frank out of any hate mail.

    Some of these quotes aren’t very funny. What gives?2020-10-22T21:35:01-07:00

    Context is the key to everything. Within it lies the joke. It may be a droll joke, or a bad joke, but it’s a joke. Like when a certain senator asks and answers, “Were the President’s actions perfect? No.” as reason for not wishing to even hear from additional witnesses, and it turns out he was a former state Attorney General, well, that’s a joke.

    The former CEOs who made millions of dollars before deciding they wanted to embark into politics partly to deny people health care are total jokes themselves, and anything they say has to be considered hysterical. Those are rules of the English language.

    The whole project is a taste of dark humor. It’s like Fargo but everything documented on our cards really did happen. Enjoy!


    What’s up with the capitalization and Wyoming ranking 52nd in population among 50 states?2023-07-03T00:00:07-07:00

    Sole Member went to a school that taught him proper nouns were always capitalized, and that President, when used to identify a particular individual who happened to be the President of the United States, was to be capitalized. Therefore, in quotes on cards, where the source did not capitalize president, we made the executive decision to capitalize the word when it referred directly to the impeached president Donald J Trump. In this case, the term president is used identification of the role, as in a president who had been impeached, rather than the impeached President which refers directly to Trump.

    The same goes with senators who work in the Senate, as much as House reps are representatives who work in the House.

    Not discussed in this 5th grade class was whether or not the concept of Deep State should be capitalized. As an ambiguous term directed towards a particular group of government officials who do or do not exist, Sole Member is of the camp that, yes, it should be capitalized. Anyway, a lower case deep state seems to normalize the concept. And much like the Klan hide behind sheets, and Nazis like to claim they don’t really exist, the Deep State deserves to be identified.

    In addition to excelling at English, a young Sole Member attended social studies courses where he learned about the factors of democracy and the role of government. It was during this same 5th grade year that Puerto Rico was discussed as a potential 51st state of the Union with Washington, D.C. coming in 52nd. If they were currently states, in terms of population, Puerto Rico would rank 31st and D.C. 50th. Combined, their populations amount to almost 4 million people.

    The population of Wyoming is less than 600,000. Alaska has less than 700,000. The two Dakotas combined measure about 1.7 million. All eight of their senators are Republican, and all voted to exonerate Trump of his impeachment charges. or that matter, New York state has 18.8 million residents and California has 39.7 million. All four of their senators are Democratic, and they represent more than 19-times the population of Wyoming + Alaska + the two Dakotas.

    Basic freaking math.

    Collector’s items?2020-12-16T22:45:19-08:00

    As mentioned in the spiel, the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards is the first product in the B.R. Cards catalog. And considering the amount of dirty handed politics and corruption committed by the Republican Party in charge, there’s bound to be a whole lot more. Americans are sick and tired of being sick and tired and they are ready for a sardonic laugh. Even those who don’t like the drawings or get much of the purpose of the data can appreciate the fact that God spoke to Mitt, and said, “Let the kid make his deck of cards, for fuck sake.”

    That alone might be worth the investment.

    We at B.R. Cards don’t want to get ahead of ourselves by proclaiming a $15 pack of cards will translate into a greater value somewhere down the line. But we also don’t know. As it is, we will be producing only 25,000 Gold Back versions of these cards, and only on this site. After that, the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards will be made available at fine novelty card shops across America with a yet to be established standard B.R. Cards back and box. Granted, we may only sell one of those decks, but then that would create two collector’s items, which from our perspective is a Win-Win.

    Should the master plan take effect and we, in fact, sell 50,001 decks of 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards, thereby declaring the Gold Back edition as the true collector’s item to one day to fetch a pretty patch of bitcoins, then all three potential products in the poll will be coming down the pike. You can take that to the bank.

    The B.R. Cards catalog will not go silently into the night. No sir.

    Will more shipping options be available?2023-12-03T14:03:09-08:00

    At B.R. Cards, we wish to help strengthen the foundations of our society, and that includes utilizing the United States Postal Service, an entity ensured by our Constitution, for all shipments. We offer Ground, Priority, and Priority Express mail options. As much as we appreciate the USPS, we know its decision-making skills aren’t the best. We know that they are still run by a Grade A Asshole who continues to insist that cutting service is a necessary way to cut costs, even though executive compensation serves absolutely nobody. As a result of this neo-liberal bullshit, First Class Retail has been axed. Ground service will probably add 1-2 days to most shipments, but have no fear, as your cards will still get there. Priority and Priority Express are still reliant on air delivery and is not affected.

    Ground Service price are affected by both weight and distance. In terms of the former, there is a distinct jump in postage from 4 to 5 decks. Orders at 5 decks and more will be shipped via Priority should you choose Ground.

    Good news, ex-patriots and empathetic foreign allies. We now ship internationally. Provided the U.S.P.S. is capable of reaching your neck of the woods beyond our borders, you can get your own slice of American history. It’s a small world, after all.

    What is the refund policy?2020-12-16T20:23:58-08:00

    A refund will be given provided a shipment hasn’t been made. However, the processing fee Paypal charges the company is not returned to us, and your refund from Banana Republicards, LLC may or may not reflect that. These processing fees are based on a percentage of your final payment and routinely fall in the range of $0.88-2.00. If it is determined the system went down and caused a double order to occur, then we will handle the fees on our end.

    We will always reach out by email should we suspect an error was made during processing.

    Thank you for understanding.


    How do I contact B.R. Cards? Can I follow you on social media?2023-07-02T23:55:22-07:00

    Please email B.R. Cards at with any questions, concerns, and comments.

    Twitter decided the @brcards1 account was too mean to Governor Greg Abbott for telling him to go roll off a cliff (which is merely an adaptation of taking a long walk off a short pier but directed at a fascist in a wheelchair) one too many times and banned the account. So you can’t follow such whimsy there any more. B.R. Cards does have a Facebook account, even though Facebook (and by extension, Instagram) can go fuck themselves.

    Fans of B.R. Cards who happen to enjoy their Facebook experience, and those ingrained in the Twitterverse, are welcome to spread the news themselves. We hear that somehow going viral is good for business.

    Thank you for your interest.

    B.R. Cards References

    Est. net worth values are circa 2018 and sourced by All other data was mined via the or individual senators’ Wikipedia pages.

    Quotes on cards referenced in alphabetical order of Senator’s last name:

    Alexander, Lamar: Sheryl Gay Stolberg and Carl Hulse (Jan 31, 2020). “Alexander Says Convicting Trump Would ‘Pour Gasoline on Cultural Fires’”, New York Times

    Barrasso, John: John Bresnahan (Jan 22, 2020). “Senate Republicans slam Democrats’ impeachment case as nothing new”, Politico

    Blackburn, Marsha (Jan 31, 2020). “Marsha Blackburn: I won’t be a ‘useful contrarian’ for Democrats in Trump impeachment trial”, USA Today

    Blunt, Roy: (1) Liz Zhou and Hannah Brown (Oct 2, 2019). “1999 vs. 2019: Senate Republicans’ attitudes on impeachment sure have changed a lot”, Vox; (2) Steve Benen (Jan 28, 2020). “Making the case against witnesses, GOP’s Blunt says a bit too much”, MSNBC

    Boozeman, John: (Jan 31, 2020). “Sens. Cotton, Boozman vote against allowing witnesses in Trump impeachment trial”, THV11

    Braun, Mike: Heather Caygle and Sarah Ferris (Feb 5, 2020). “Indiana’s freshman senator steps up to the impeachment mics”, Politico

    Burr, Richard: The Editorial Board (Jan 29, 2020). “The pathetic impeachment pandering of North Carolina’s senators”, The News & Observer

    Cassidy, Bill: All Things Considered, Oct 31, 2019; NPR

    Collins, Susan: John Bowden (Feb 4, 2020). “Collins: Trump has learned ‘a pretty big lesson’ from impeachment”, The Hill

    Cornyn, John: Twitter feed Sep 26, 2019

    Cotton, Tom: Congressional record Feb 5, 2020

    Cramer, Kevin: Jessica Bursztynsky (Dec 19, 2019) “GOP senator: Stocks are a ‘pretty good reflection’ of how Americans feel about Trump impeachment”, CNBC

    Crapo, Michael: Congressional Record, Feb 12, 1999 “Statement of Sen. Crapo (R-Idaho)”, Washington Post

    Cruz, Ted: Tom Benning (Feb 4, 2020) “Ted Cruz, railing against ‘partisan affair,’ says acquittal in Trump impeachment trial is ‘right thing to do’”, The Dallas Morning News

    Daines, Steve: Lauren Leatherby, Alicia Parlapiano, and Karen Youlish (Dec 20, 2019) “What Senators Have Said About Impeachment”, New York Times

    Enzi, Mike: Nick Reynolds (Dec 21, 2019) “Sen. Enzi might be keeping quiet now, but he’s had plenty to say about impeachment in the past”, Caspar Star Tribune

    Ernst, Joni: Zack Budryk (Feb 2, 2020) “GOP senator warns Republicans could impeach Biden if he wins White House”, The Hill

    Fischer, Deb: Congressional record, Feb 4, 2020

    Gardner, Corey: Congressional record, Feb 4, 2020

    Graham, Lindsey: Tom McCarthy (Jan 21, 2020) “Lindsey Graham: senator who became Trump’s loudest impeachment bulldog”, The Guardian

    Grassley, Chuck: (1) James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider; (2) Prepared floor statement Feb 3, 2020 “Grassley: House’s Impeachment Case is Constitutionally Flawed; Dangerously Unprecedented

    Hawley, Josh: The Laura Ingraham Show, Dec 17, 2019; via Real Clear Politics

    Hoeven, John: Jack Dura (Jan 30, 2020) “Sens. Hoeven, Cramer don’t see need for witnesses in Trump impeachment trial”, Bismarck Tribune

    Hyde-Smith, Cindy: Ashton Pittman (Dec 16, 2019) “Espy: Hyde-Smith Betrays ‘Sacred Oath’ With Vow to Protect Trump at Trial”, Jackson Free Press

    Inhofe, Jim: (1) James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider; (2) Julia Musto (Jan 25, 2020) “Sen. Jim Inhofe: Dems have no case, just want to drag out impeachment ahead of election”, Fox News

    Johnson, Ron: Craig Gilbert (Sep 27, 2019) “Sen. Ron Johnson says he is troubled by the leak, not the president’s call”, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

    Kennedy, John: Nov 7, 2019; public comments; Politico

    Lankford, James: Randy Krehbiel (Jan 24, 2020) “Lankford says Trump impeachment trial not a ‘fishing expedition’”, Tulsa World

    Lee, Mike: Dennis Romboy (Jan 24, 2020) “Who’s really behind Trump impeachment? Mike Lee says it’s the ‘deep state’”, Deseret News

    Loeffler, Kelly: Joshua Nelson (Feb 4, 2020) “Sen. Kelly Loeffler blasts impeachment in first floor speech: ‘The people want to move on’”, Fox News

    McConnell, Mitch: (1) James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider; (2) Kelsey Snell (Dec 17, 2019) “McConnell: ‘I’m Not Impartial’ About Impeachment”, NPR

    McSally, Martha: as told to Manu Raju, Jan 16, 2020; CNN; via Real Clear Politics

    Moore-Capito, Shelley: Alex Thomas (Oct 29, 2019) “Capito, Manchin talk impeachment in light of US House resolution”, WV Metro News

    Moran, Jerry: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Murkowski, Lisa: Clare Foran (Feb 3, 2020) “Murkowski says she ‘cannot vote to convict,’ but calls Trump’s actions ‘shameful and wrong’”, CNN

    Paul, Rand: David Morgan (Feb 4, 2020) “Republican Rand Paul names purported ‘whistleblower’ in the Senate”, Reuters

    Perdue, David: Lauren Leatherby, Alicia Parlapiano, and Karen Youlish (Dec 20, 2019) “What Senators Have Said About Impeachment”, New York Times

    Portman, Rob: Sabrina Eaton (Oct 4, 2019) “Ohio Congress members on impeachment: then and now”,

    Risch, James: Interview with KBOI, Jan 22, 2020; via 2IdahoNews Sen. Jim Risch: Some senators ‘nodding off’ during impeachment trial

    Roberts, Pat: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Rounds, Mike: Marisa Schultz (Jan 30, 2020) “Impeachment endgame: GOP senators eye swift conclusion to trial, say ‘It’s time to vote’”, Fox News

    Rubio, Marco: J. Edward Moreno (Jan 31, 2020) “Rubio: Impeachable actions don’t necessarily mean a president should be removed”, The Hill

    Sasse, Ben: Joseph Morton (Jan 31, 2020) “U.S. Senate rejects measure to call witnesses in President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial”, Omaha World-Herald

    Scott, Rick: Jan 22, 2020 “Sen. Rick Scott says he’s ‘absolutely’ open to having witnesses in impeachment trial”, WESH

    Scott, Tim: Jan 22, 2020 “Sen. Tim Scott: The real motivation behind Dems’ impeachment push”, Fox News

    Shelby, Richard: Justin Wise (Jan 19, 2020) “GOP senator on Trump soliciting foreign interference: ‘Those are just statements’”, The Hill

    Sullivan, Dan: Liz Ruskin (Feb 6, 2020) “Sullivan, after voting to acquit Trump, says the president’s actions were not ‘perfect’”, Alaska Public Media

    Thune, John: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Tillis, Thom: Heidi Przybyla (Jan 13, 2020) “Vulnerable GOP senators’ resistance to impeachment witnesses highlights Democratic concerns”, NBC News

    Toomey, Pat: Thomas Harper (Feb 5, 2020) “Pat Toomey failed ‘true test of morals’ with Trump impeachment votes”, The Philadelphia Inquirer

    Wicker, Roger: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Young, Todd: Feb 3, 2020 “Sen. Young says he will vote to acquit Trump”, WTHR

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