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B.R. Cards 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal Playing Cards Get Playing Cards
2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal Playing Cards2021-03-23T17:24:31-05:00

B.R. Cards is proud to offer our 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards, a full deck commemorating the 52 senators who voted to acquit former President Donald Trump of both charges brought against him during his first of two impeachment trials.

Made in America and on casino-quality 310 gsm paperboard with black core support, our 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards are made for extended shuffling and long-term play.

Which is a good thing because infamy lasts forever, and there are over 150 different versions of Solitaire to learn.

Many might say our 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards are timely keepsakes of a once great nation fallen to the whims of the deranged and tribal minds of today’s Republican Party. As daunting as that may sound, our playing cards were developed with the notion of family fun in mind.

Though our democracy is constantly challenged by the undemocratic nature of an entire political party in our 2-party system, you can be rest assured knowing that these decks of 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards are easily transportable. Wherever it is you might find yourself looking back at this time in American history, with these cards, you are sure to be entertained.

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At this point, B.R. Cards would like to offer heartfelt appreciation to Mitt Romney as his one guilty vote on one of the two House charges of Donald Trump’s first impeachment trial made embarking on this project a true reality.

Of course, this project would be nowhere without the foresight of President George W. Bush and his administration who, on the eve of the 2003 invasion of Iraq, produced a deck of playing cards ranking various Iraqi military personnel and Ba’ath party officials in suit and card value. (P.S. We were supposedly fighting Al-Qaeda at the time.)

Nice job, all.

Each card in the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing deck contains an original portrait meticulously drawn by our artist to accentuate the senator’s truest self; a small set of data culled from the Internet to further determine the senator’s actual worth; and words straight from the senator’s mouth to solidify these efforts.

Maybe the featured senator who exonerated President Trump also voted to impeach President Clinton 20 years ago due to the latter’s lies made during sworn testimony in a deposition that had segued into questions about whether he, the President, had received illicit hummers in the Oval Office?

Hysterical and historical, these cards make great gifts.

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The 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards have a special gold back signifying the first B.R. Cards product to market, and they can only be purchased here at the B.R. Cards website.

These cards are sturdier than their subject matters and are better at parties, too. And seeing as how 3 retired last November, and 4 lost re-election bids in 2020, and at least 5 more have announced their retirements for 2022, not to mention the 2 who outed themselves as proud insurrectionists, and, well, these cards might become one of the hottest collector’s items in the good old U.S.A.

So get yours today.

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B.R. Cards is a small novelty card company headquartered in Austin, TX. Staffed by the chronically under- and unemployed, B.R. Cards hopes to create a bit clarity out of the shattered perceptions brought on by the Reagan Revolution.

At the very least, we’ll have fun doing it.

Get well soon, America. We love you.

Poll: Your choice for the next product by B.R. Cards:

    Thank for you supporting the small, independent, and fine arts industries of Austin, Texas and the rest of the U.S.A.!

    FAQ

    Who are you?2020-10-18T21:52:43-05:00

    We are Banana Republicards, LLC, currently a sole member entity headquartered in Austin, TX, doing business as B.R. Cards. In short, we are proud Americans who figured that converting left-wing advocacy in the form of a commodity might be a good way to maintain self-employment. The 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards is our first product for sale to the public. It was created by:

    Sole Member, who conceptualized the product and developed the company. Sole Member conducted the necessary research and took care of all the legalities. Born in 1970, Sole Member spent his formative years watching Reagan invest the future of our country in atomic weaponry with the ability to destroy the planet thousands of times over. The flip side is America won the Cold War. Yay!

    Frank Piercing, who drew all the art. Frank was born in the final days of the Baby Boomer generation. Frank and Sole Member met through a lady folk singer and guitar player mutual friend at a South Austin party held at a home known to its residents and neighbors as the Hippie House. (In the true spirit of transparency, the lady folk singer is actually a jazz singer who specializes in Americana. That just because she’s a woman with an acoustic guitar does not mean she happens to be some sort of Joan Baez clone. B.R. Cards apologizes for the confusion.)

    Danielle, who handled the graphic design, and thereby put it all together. A Millennial, she was Sole Member’s supervisor when he spent three months working for a local head shop. An artist in her own right, her work can be found on Instagram under the moniker Horror.hunnie.

    B.R. Cards thanks you for your interest.

    Why are you so mean?2020-12-22T02:58:10-06:00

    While Sole Member may be found traipsing on the Internet talking trash, the purpose of the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards is not to insult the politicians on the other side of the spectrum. The sole purpose of these playing cards is to expose the faulty behavior of Republican senators during the impeachment trial of President Donald J Trump so that we, as a nation, won’t repeat such ignorance again. The idea of Never Forget is so that we improve upon our failures and move forward. If our nation is governed by senators who have decided the morals as directed by the U.S. Constitution weren’t worth defending, then of course they’re going to come off as a collection of mindless and egotistical sacks of poop.

    It means we’ve got to vote these people out of office. There is nothing nice or not nice about it.

    As for the project, if a senator happens to look like a shrieking lizard, or a lost space creature, or a freshly whacked crackhead, then that’s merely Frank’s interpretation of things. The reception his radio received from the airwaves of our political landscape. Basic gut stuff, which as we learned during George W Bush administration, is as good as anything.

    Is this cheap propaganda or some kind of gimmick? Why politicize poker?2020-12-22T02:58:46-06:00

    The inspiration behind these cards were the playing cards developed by George W Bush and his administration of war hawks on the eve of the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq. Somebody, more than likely Donald Rumsfeld, thought that a 52-card playing deck of targeted Iraqi military players ranked by card value and suit would benefit our boys and keep them safe in their upcoming rampage of a sovereign nation.

    B.R. Cards products are crafted with care and the consumer in mind. Unlike the Bush administration, we use top quality, casino-grade paperboard for our playing cards. Also unlike the Bush administration, we believe in the notion that an educated public makes for a healthy Republic, so we packed each card with data.

    As Americans we celebrate transparency. Sole Member may choose to remain anonymous on this site, but consider it part of a shtick. (It’s really not difficult to seek him out.) All playing card data was sourced online from the websites OpenSecrets.org, Wikipedia.com, Senate.gov, and various local news websites from around the country. Please visit the references section for links to all our quotes.

     

    What factors determined card values and suits?2020-12-22T02:59:36-06:00

    In the spirit of President George W Bush, the science we went with was our gut. We began with the most obvious — Mitch McConnell as the Ace of Spades as Martha McSally as the Two of Clubs – proceeded to fill in the rest of the pieces. Was it happenstance that the crazies were 8s and all the 4s were fascists or simply the nature of the beast? We did reserve Spades for conniving back stabber types, and Diamonds for those with an exorbitant amount of money. The longer tenure generally earned a higher numerical value, as almost all the current senators who were around in some form for the Clinton impeachment were considered higher up cards. Of course, the Aces are special.

    The process could have benefited from the use of an algorithm, but in the end, each Republican senator fell into place as mindlessly as they fell into line.

    Some of these quotes aren’t very funny. What gives?2020-10-22T21:35:01-05:00

    Context is the key to everything. Within it lies the joke. It may be a droll joke, or a bad joke, but it’s a joke. Like when a certain senator asks and answers, “Were the President’s actions perfect? No.” as reason for not wishing to even hear from additional witnesses, and it turns out he was a former state Attorney General, well, that’s a joke.

    The former CEOs who made millions of dollars before deciding they wanted to embark into politics partly to deny people health care are total jokes themselves, and anything they say has to be considered hysterical. Those are rules of the English language.

    The whole project is a taste of dark humor. It’s like Fargo but everything documented on our cards really did happen. Enjoy!

     

    Explain Lindsey Graham as the only male Queen, if you don’t mind.2020-12-22T21:17:54-06:00

    B.R. Cards is not in the position to discuss anybody’s sexuality, and we do admit that designating one male as a Queen would appear to do just that. Sole Member did solicit the opinion of the LGBT folks in his social circle. Granted, this was a small sample size (two Gs, one L, one B, no Ts) but the decision was unanimous. L said, “Miss Lindsey as a Queen is a no-brainer,” and one of the Gs pre-empted my question with his own. “Is Lindsey a Queen?”

    While Frank had offered a stiff voice of opposition, Danielle understood. At the end of the day, this was Sole Member’s decision to make, so please leave Frank out of any hate mail.

    What’s up with the capitalization? And how can Wyoming rank 52nd in population among 50 states?2020-12-22T21:50:16-06:00

    Sole Member went to a school that taught him proper nouns were always capitalized, and that President, when used to identify a particular individual who happened to be the President of the United States, was always to be capitalized. Therefore, in quotes on cards, where the source did not capitalize president, we made the executive decision to capitalize the word when it referred directly to the impeached president Donald J Trump. In this case, the term president is used identification of the role, as in a president who had been impeached, rather than the impeached President which refers directly to Trump.

    The same goes with senators who work in the Senate, as much as House reps are representatives who work in the House.

    Not discussed in this 5th grade class was whether or not the concept of Deep State should be capitalized. As an ambiguous term directed towards a particular group of government officials who do or do not exist, Sole Member is of the camp that, yes, it should be capitalized. Anyway, a lower case deep state seems to normalize the concept. And much like the Klan hide behind sheets and Nazis like to claim they don’t really exist, the Deep State deserves to be identified.

    In addition to excelling at English, a young Sole Member attended social studies courses where he learned about the factors of democracy and the role of government. It was during this same 5th grade year that Puerto Rico was discussed as a potential 51st state of the Union with Washington, D.C. coming in 52nd. If they were currently states, in terms of population, Puerto Rico would rank 31st and D.C. 50th. Combined, their populations amount to almost 4 million people.

    The population of Wyoming is less than 600,000. Alaska has less than 700,00. The two Dakotas combined measure about 1.7 million. All eight of their senators are Republican, and all voted to exonerate Trump of his impeachment charges.

    For that matter, New York state has 18.8 million residents and California has 39.7 million. All four of their senators are Democratic, and they represent more than 19-times the population of Wyoming + Alaska + the two Dakotas.

    Aye carumba, indeed.

    Collector’s items?2020-12-16T22:45:19-06:00

    As mentioned in the spiel, the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards is the first product in the B.R. Cards catalog. And considering the amount of dirty handed politics and corruption committed by the Republican Party in charge, there’s bound to be a whole lot more. Americans are sick and tired of being sick and tired and they are ready for a sardonic laugh. Even those who don’t like the drawings or get much of the purpose of the data can appreciate the fact that God spoke to Mitt, and said, “Let the kid make his deck of cards, for fuck sake.”

    That alone might be worth the investment.

    We at B.R. Cards don’t want to get ahead of ourselves by proclaiming a $15 pack of cards will translate into a greater value somewhere down the line. But we also don’t know. As it is, we will be producing only 25,000 Gold Back versions of these cards, and only on this site. After that, the 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards will be made available at fine novelty card shops across America with a yet to be established standard B.R. Cards back and box. Granted, we may only sell one of those decks, but then that would create two collector’s items, which from our perspective is a Win-Win.

    Should the master plan take effect and we, in fact, sell 50,001 decks of 2020 Senate Impeachment Trial Acquittal playing cards, thereby declaring the Gold Back edition as the true collector’s item to one day to fetch a pretty patch of bitcoins, then all three potential products in the poll will be coming down the pike. You can take that to the bank.

    The B.R. Cards catalog will not go silently into the night. No sir.

    Will more shipping options be available?2020-12-15T00:40:56-06:00

    At B.R. Cards, we wish to help strengthen the foundations of our society, and that includes utilizing the United States Postal Service, an entity ensured by our Constitution, for all shipments. We currently offer 1st class and Priority mail options. We will not be offering any other U.S. Postal Service options at this time.

    Due to the size of our operation, at this time we will not be offering international sales or shipments. While we sympathize with ex-patriots everywhere and respect their wishes to have these cards further support their previous personal decisions, stateside friends or family will have to order and then ship you a pack.

    Hopefully over the next couple of months, B.R. Cards will be able to further invest in these channels.

    As a new company, we expect some rough patches. We appreciate your patience and understanding.

     

    What is the refund policy?2020-12-16T20:23:58-06:00

    A refund will be given provided a shipment hasn’t been made. However, the processing fee Paypal charges the company is not returned to us, and your refund from Banana Republicards, LLC may or may not reflect that. These processing fees are based on a percentage of your final payment and routinely fall in the range of $0.88-2.00. If it is determined the system went down and caused a double order to occur, then we will handle the fees on our end.

    We will always reach out by email should we suspect an error was made during processing.

    Thank you for understanding.

     

    How do I contact B.R. Cards? Are you on social media?2020-12-16T13:33:39-06:00

    Please email B.R. Cards at bananarepublicards@gmail.com with any questions.

    All phone calls will go to voice mail.

    You may follow B.R. Cards on Twitter (@brcards1) if that is your thing. Mind you, sometimes Sole Member scurries off in rabbit holes and then goes off on sports or international events. But that is also why he recently decided to eventually hire somebody else from the head shop to handle the Twit presence for 10 hours a week. She is a well trained sardonic anti-fascist who dabbles in Wiccan culture, so feel free to follow us.

    B.R. Cards now has a Facebook account, even though Facebook, and by extension Instagram, can go fuck themselves. Fans of B.R. Cards who happen to enjoy their Facebook experience are welcome to promote our efforts to their respective communities of friends if they so desire. That said, we appreciate being the focus of any goodwill and friendly recommendations.

     

    B.R. Cards References

    Est. net worth values were circa 2018 and sourced by OpenSecrets.org.

    All other data was mined via the Senate.gov or individual senators’ Wikipedia pages.

    Quotes on cards referenced in alphabetical order of Senator’s last name:

    Alexander, Lamar: Sheryl Gay Stolberg and Carl Hulse (Jan 31, 2020). “Alexander Says Convicting Trump Would ‘Pour Gasoline on Cultural Fires’”, New York Times

    Barrasso, John: John Bresnahan (Jan 22, 2020). “Senate Republicans slam Democrats’ impeachment case as nothing new”, Politico

    Blackburn, Marsha (Jan 31, 2020). “Marsha Blackburn: I won’t be a ‘useful contrarian’ for Democrats in Trump impeachment trial”, USA Today

    Blunt, Roy: (1) Liz Zhou and Hannah Brown (Oct 2, 2019). “1999 vs. 2019: Senate Republicans’ attitudes on impeachment sure have changed a lot”, Vox; (2) Steve Benen (Jan 28, 2020). “Making the case against witnesses, GOP’s Blunt says a bit too much”, MSNBC

    Boozeman, John: (Jan 31, 2020). “Sens. Cotton, Boozman vote against allowing witnesses in Trump impeachment trial”, THV11

    Braun, Mike: Heather Caygle and Sarah Ferris (Feb 5, 2020). “Indiana’s freshman senator steps up to the impeachment mics”, Politico

    Burr, Richard: The Editorial Board (Jan 29, 2020). “The pathetic impeachment pandering of North Carolina’s senators”, The News & Observer

    Cassidy, Bill: All Things Considered, Oct 31, 2019; NPR

    Collins, Susan: John Bowden (Feb 4, 2020). “Collins: Trump has learned ‘a pretty big lesson’ from impeachment”, The Hill

    Cornyn, John: Twitter feed Sep 26, 2019

    Cotton, Tom: Congressional record Feb 5, 2020

    Cramer, Kevin: Jessica Bursztynsky (Dec 19, 2019) “GOP senator: Stocks are a ‘pretty good reflection’ of how Americans feel about Trump impeachment”, CNBC

    Crapo, Michael: Congressional Record, Feb 12, 1999 “Statement of Sen. Crapo (R-Idaho)”, Washington Post

    Cruz, Ted: Tom Benning (Feb 4, 2020) “Ted Cruz, railing against ‘partisan affair,’ says acquittal in Trump impeachment trial is ‘right thing to do’”, The Dallas Morning News

    Daines, Steve: Lauren Leatherby, Alicia Parlapiano, and Karen Youlish (Dec 20, 2019) “What Senators Have Said About Impeachment”, New York Times

    Enzi, Mike: Nick Reynolds (Dec 21, 2019) “Sen. Enzi might be keeping quiet now, but he’s had plenty to say about impeachment in the past”, Caspar Star Tribune

    Ernst, Joni: Zack Budryk (Feb 2, 2020) “GOP senator warns Republicans could impeach Biden if he wins White House”, The Hill

    Fischer, Deb: Congressional record, Feb 4, 2020

    Gardner, Corey: Congressional record, Feb 4, 2020

    Graham, Lindsey: Tom McCarthy (Jan 21, 2020) “Lindsey Graham: senator who became Trump’s loudest impeachment bulldog”, The Guardian

    Grassley, Chuck: (1) James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider; (2) Prepared floor statement Feb 3, 2020 “Grassley: House’s Impeachment Case is Constitutionally Flawed; Dangerously Unprecedented

    Hawley, Josh: The Laura Ingraham Show, Dec 17, 2019; via Real Clear Politics

    Hoeven, John: Jack Dura (Jan 30, 2020) “Sens. Hoeven, Cramer don’t see need for witnesses in Trump impeachment trial”, Bismarck Tribune

    Hyde-Smith, Cindy: Ashton Pittman (Dec 16, 2019) “Espy: Hyde-Smith Betrays ‘Sacred Oath’ With Vow to Protect Trump at Trial”, Jackson Free Press

    Inhofe, Jim: (1) James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider; (2) Julia Musto (Jan 25, 2020) “Sen. Jim Inhofe: Dems have no case, just want to drag out impeachment ahead of election”, Fox News

    Johnson, Ron: Craig Gilbert (Sep 27, 2019) “Sen. Ron Johnson says he is troubled by the leak, not the president’s call”, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

    Kennedy, John: Nov 7, 2019; public comments; Politico

    Lankford, James: Randy Krehbiel (Jan 24, 2020) “Lankford says Trump impeachment trial not a ‘fishing expedition’”, Tulsa World

    Lee, Mike: Dennis Romboy (Jan 24, 2020) “Who’s really behind Trump impeachment? Mike Lee says it’s the ‘deep state’”, Deseret News

    Loeffler, Kelly: Joshua Nelson (Feb 4, 2020) “Sen. Kelly Loeffler blasts impeachment in first floor speech: ‘The people want to move on’”, Fox News

    McConnell, Mitch: (1) James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider; (2) Kelsey Snell (Dec 17, 2019) “McConnell: ‘I’m Not Impartial’ About Impeachment”, NPR

    McSally, Martha: as told to Manu Raju, Jan 16, 2020; CNN; via Real Clear Politics

    Moore-Capito, Shelley: Alex Thomas (Oct 29, 2019) “Capito, Manchin talk impeachment in light of US House resolution”, WV Metro News

    Moran, Jerry: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Murkowski, Lisa: Clare Foran (Feb 3, 2020) “Murkowski says she ‘cannot vote to convict,’ but calls Trump’s actions ‘shameful and wrong’”, CNN

    Paul, Rand: David Morgan (Feb 4, 2020) “Republican Rand Paul names purported ‘whistleblower’ in the Senate”, Reuters

    Perdue, David: Lauren Leatherby, Alicia Parlapiano, and Karen Youlish (Dec 20, 2019) “What Senators Have Said About Impeachment”, New York Times

    Portman, Rob: Sabrina Eaton (Oct 4, 2019) “Ohio Congress members on impeachment: then and now”, Cleveland.com

    Risch, James: Interview with KBOI, Jan 22, 2020; via 2IdahoNews Sen. Jim Risch: Some senators ‘nodding off’ during impeachment trial

    Roberts, Pat: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Rounds, Mike: Marisa Schultz (Jan 30, 2020) “Impeachment endgame: GOP senators eye swift conclusion to trial, say ‘It’s time to vote’”, Fox News

    Rubio, Marco: J. Edward Moreno (Jan 31, 2020) “Rubio: Impeachable actions don’t necessarily mean a president should be removed”, The Hill

    Sasse, Ben: Joseph Morton (Jan 31, 2020) “U.S. Senate rejects measure to call witnesses in President Donald Trump’s impeachment trial”, Omaha World-Herald

    Scott, Rick: Jan 22, 2020, “Sen. Rick Scott says he’s ‘absolutely’ open to having witnesses in impeachment trial”, WESH

    Scott, Tim: January 22, 2020 “Sen. Tim Scott: The real motivation behind Dems’ impeachment push”, Fox News

    Shelby, Richard: Justin Wise (Jan 19, 2020) “GOP senator on Trump soliciting foreign interference: ‘Those are just statements’”, The Hill

    Sullivan, Dan: Liz Ruskin (Feb 6, 2020) “Sullivan, after voting to acquit Trump, says the president’s actions were not ‘perfect’”, Alaska Public Media

    Thune, John: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Tillis, Thom: Heidi Przybyla (Jan 13, 2020) “Vulnerable GOP senators’ resistance to impeachment witnesses highlights Democratic concerns”, NBC News

    Toomey, Pat: Thomas Harper (Feb 5, 2020) “Pat Toomey failed ‘true test of morals’ with Trump impeachment votes”, The Philadelphia Inquirer

    Wicker, Roger: James Pasley (Jan 31, 2020) “28 senators who were in Congress for Clinton’s impeachment, and how they voted then”, Business Insider

    Young, Todd: Feb 3, 2020 “Sen. Young says he will vote to acquit Trump”, WTHR

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