I have a personal history of talking tough behind a keyboard. I have posted things online that I wouldn’t have put quite as verbose or profane if said in person. One excuse is my poor decision to utilize the sarcastic perspective I was born with that unsuspecting innocents don’t happen to see. This personality trait of mine was developed long before I became Sole Member and began hocking cards to the left-wing circles all over the Internet. (Well…) In my youth and other younger days, I went so far as yell such invective opinion out in the open. Whether at a ball game or on the school yard, I had a big enough mouth and a very loud voice. And when I did happened to do it in the kitchen, my family treated reacted as if I suffered from Turret’s syndrome, which was nice of them.
But this blog piece isn’t about me. Buy my cards! This blog piece is about Ted Cruz. I made him a 3 because the GOP has so many 2s!
As a Texan who has casually watched this peculiar man rise in Texas politics, I can not fathom what it is about the guy that has granted him a seat in the Senate. Nobody actually likes him. He’s a tool who has done not one bit of governance through now, his second term in office. He is seemingly in D.C. to reject any and all progress while being as divisive as possible. Before joining the Senate, he had been the Texas solicitor general, and so I guess that bit makes a lot of sense.
Ted Cruz is a fake and a phony, a scumbag wrapped up in one tubby tummy Cuban-Canadian bundle. I moved to Austin 21 years ago, and it didn’t me take long to acquire the occasional local twang. It’s easy to do, and when used properly, it can guide one through awkward situations. But the more Ted talks trying to sound like a Texan with his silly twang, the more he comes off as the Harvard educated fake married to a Wall Street marketer. She’s a real dog, Ted! Remember that, you bloated horse’s anus!
Ted Cruz likes to talk shit about California. He tweets as he twangs, with fake macho posturing. He’ll swipe shots at the California governor or a celebrity. Lots of Texan government officials seem to go out of their way on social media to give California a hard time, and they all have fake as fuck hats and twangs. Ted Cruz is the result of Ken Paxton, Dan Patrick, and Greg Abbott fertilizing a monkey’s egg via circle jerk. I meant that one, Ted! Ronald Reagan, who had been governor of California, as well as a president for the Screen Actors Guild, proved that all you needed was a hat and a ranch to transform into the strong man of Republican dreams.
I was born in California and began moving out of state as a kid, and folks here take it too kind that their hatred for California is nothing unique. None of it is true, and none of it is new. Yet that won’t stop the most powerful people in the state from skirting their own responsibilities in order to dish shit about Dems, Lefties, and Socialists, especially on their way out the door to Mexico.
Last night, I hunkered down with the dog in a 42 degree house, knowing I was a lucky one. The night before I had hosted friends who lost their power Monday morning at 1am. My luck of living close enough to a fire station spared me having to suffer more than the 19 hours I had with nothing but my wits, some candles, and these marvelous cards to entertain me.
Fuck you, Ted.